May 02, 2010
We're supposed to laugh out loud once a day, right? Saturday, I got cheated.
Last Friday night I had the great fortune to be invited to Sarah Palin's appearance benefitting the (Dallas) Uptown Women's Center. At dinner's close, I was handed a card and envelope, which surprised me: This hadn't been explicitly billed as a fundraiser. Still, I said a quick prayer, unfolded the "emergency" check from my wallet, and filled it out.
Good causes are best funded that way, with little deliberation. Although I am not a wealthy man, I lead a comfortable life. Many others don't. So I left feeling okay, though a bit apprehensive, because I'm not in the habit of writing checks that big voluntarily.
Shift gears with me for a moment; this is a transition that will make sense when you're done.
You know how the government's paying Americans to buy new appliances this year? I signed up for the rebate, because our refrigerator is hot. I mean, the unit chills just fine, but the motor windings have shorted into the case, making the outside of the fridge a literal live wire. I tested it after Squeeky felt a mild shock when accidentally touching the sink at the same time as the fridge. My voltmeter, retracing her path, showed 118v AC current between the sink and the appliance.
In short, I am blessed not to be a widower.
So when I heard about the government appliance rebate, I went shopping. Bought a handsome new Maytag with the freezer on the bottom so we don't have to stoop all the time.
Saturday morning, two guys arrived in a truck. One came to fetch the danger-fridge while his boss unboxed the new one. Boss-man lifted the cardboard off the new unit and immediately zeroed in on a blemish way down low on one side, near the back. He pointed to a scratch that had been painted over somewhere up the production line. He said, "I give you $100 for that," and I thought he was kidding.
Then after he wheeled the fridge into my kitchen, he wrote just that on the invoice and handed it to me for a signature.
"If you don't get your check within two weeks, you call this number."
Okay. Do you see what happened there?
That is why I wanted to laugh out loud. But I couldn't, because it would have confused the guys.
So after they left, I sat down and had a good snicker.
And that is why I believe in the power of prayer.
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