It has been determined that, as I approach my drinking limit, I begin speaking in palindromes.

Which is a good indicator to those around me that perhaps I could use another gin-and-tonic, minus the gin.

Yes, that's my CD in your player. I'm flattered that you want to take it. I have another one, or three, stashed throughout your house, for our later enjoyment.

I am not to be interrupted.

You may, at your discretion, collect my car keys, but do not take my car. It rarely starts without a kind of monastic ritual, lots of chanting, incense, etc. Besides, the looks you'll get in the rear-view from motorists reading my bumper stickers may cause you to stay home for weeks.

By the way, this is not a cabernet glass.

Have I told you about my acting career? I'm in the middle of it now. I'm only acting this part, you see. So are you. Casting has done a magnificent job. Set design could take a few pointers.

Please see to it the non-smokers are sent outside. It's for their health. Also, maybe they'll stop complaining.

Don't say you don't want me at your party, especially after I've gone to the trouble of lint-rolling my fez. (Beaver felt, in case you're wondering.) I solemnly promise that most of the cover charge I collect from your guests will go toward the 11:47 beer run.

Okay, the 1:47. I don't mind helping at all, if it'll save you the embarrassment of running out.

People don't seem to know the rules of entertaining anymore.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at 08:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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