May 10, 2008

My Friend, His Girlfriend, and Me

In my senior year of high school, my friend Charles' girlfriend decided to get back at him for cheating on her, by cheating with me. So she practically begged me for a date, and I foolishly took her out on one.

Scandalous, but it gets better. Let's back up a few weeks.

charles and i are driving around, which is what high-school kids do when they're bored on a Friday night: They just drive around. We mixed a couple of Jack Daniels-and-Cokes to take along, and went cruising into parts of Houston known for debauchery.

As we approached a dim intersection, Charles pointed to a young woman showing a lot of skin and leaning against a wall.

"She's a prostitute," he said, winking at me with his voice.

"How do you know?"

"Three weeks ago, I paid her $20 to blow me in my car."

I felt unimpressed. Prostitutes have always seemed pitiful to me. And although I continued to stare at her for the sheer spectacle—she looked tantalizing, of course—I let the matter drop. I did not need to know any more.

Now fast-forward.

i'm out with gloria, Charles' very recent ex-girlfriend, and after dinner we motored over to the same part of town that Charles and I had toured, hoping for a glimpse of the wild side before heading back to suburban safety. At the very intersection where Charles had made his unbecoming boast, Gloria pointed to three women leaning against the same wall.

"You know those are guys, right?" she half-asked, half-prompted.

"Who?"

"Those 'girls,' over there."

I squinted. At this distance, they could have fooled anyone.

"No, I didn't know that."

"They hang out there and hustle guys for money. They use it to pay for their sex-change operations."

I paused to think that one through.

Then I started laughing.

I looked up at Gloria, paused, then continued laughing.

And I looked at her again, and burst out laughing again.

This continued for several blocks.

Gloria never asked why I thought her revelation was so funny.

And I never told her.

Or Charles.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at 08:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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