I seem to have just made a cup of gay hot chocolate.

Follow me on this and tell me I'm not mistaken.

We begin with a metal container; atop is a brass-colored handle, I suppose in case the lid gets stuck. The label tells us this is not some pedestrian hot cocoa mix.

Because it's produced from shavings of premium chocolate rather than cocoa powder, our hot chocolate is intensely chocolaty with a well-rounded body, rich taste, smooth texture, and exquisite aroma.

Exquisite. They had me at "well-rounded body," but "exquisite"? Say that aloud.

Inspired by the famed Café Angélina in Paris,

Uh-oh.

Artisanal.

*ding*

Artisanship.

Okay, I get it: I'll need to prepare this in a kimono.

The directions seal the deal. I'm supposed to heat one cup of milk in a saucepan until "bubbles just begin to form around the edges...." Then "Whisk 5 Tbs..."

Whisk.

Counting the measuring cup, I've now dirtied four utensils making one cup of hot cocoa chocolate, not counting the flakes that spilled over and melted on the stovetop. Why all this trouble for just one person?

Unless I live alone in a small apartment, habitually assuaging my inner agonies with sybaritic indulgence and pretense. Like a "warmed mug."

I am a father of two currently managing three households. I want a foil packet and water I can boil in the microwave without injuries.

but it's lent, and i've given up coffee, and in desperation to jump-start my insides in the morning, I have turned to this, a tin of hot chocolate gifted to me a while back. Apologies if the giver is reading this; it was ápropos and I do appreciate it. In fact, you've given me the gift of a fresh entry at Rittenhouse, so consider this my second thank-you. Or my first if I forgot to send you a note.

The product itself: not bad. It holds heat longer than water-based cocoa, so the first thing I did was scald my tongue and palate. Perfect: the lingering taste of burned meat I'll enjoy for the rest of the day. But it is creamy, and chocolaty, and ...

... exquisite.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at 03:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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